Teardrops of the dead
by KissingxxFangs
Summary: If she had knew then what she knew now, then maybe she wouldnt have been as eager for romance and excitement. Maybe if she hadnt been so innocently blind, she would have saw love for what it really was: No prince, no fairytale, just pain.
1. Chapter 1

_**Teardrops of the dead**_

A soft breeze blows through the other wise still meadow, and i grin as i felt your strong arms wind around my waiste and pull me

flush against you in a backwards hug ,as your lips leave soft, chastised kisses on the back of my neck, reeking havic on my nervous system.

I squirm around in your arms until were face to face, and slowly wrap my arms around your neck, pulling your face down closer

to mine and lightly brushing your lips with my own, relishing in the farmiliar flare of heat that spreads through my entire body like

wildfire with the most simpliest of touches. As if feeling my response you hold me tighter and I can see a cocky grin stretch across

your lips as i let out a soft whimper of aprovel and push my lips against yours again. The heat increases again until i feel like my whole

body is incased in a painless fire. You waste no time and quickly deepen the kiss and I sigh quietly as i feel your cool tounge lightly

trace my bottom lip, seeking an entrance. As our tounges clash and fight for dominance, im overwhelmed at the feelings that bubble

up inside me and scream to get out. Lust. happyness. Love.

After everything we've been through together it still amazes me, the extent of my feelings for you, Scares me even. It feels as though

the only thing keeping me safely anchored to the ground is you, but at the same time you make me feel so wonderfully carefree and light.

I pull back and run my hand through your lush black hair and smile as i see the love in your dark, botomless eyes. "Damon." I whisper and

you smile. I give a squeal of delight and laugh as you gentely pick me up and spin me around so fast, it really does feel as though were flying. Everything blurs together, the pale green leaves of the trees, the multiple colours of flowers, the baby blue of the bright sky. I laugh again, because this moment feels so perfect it doesnt seem real. For a moment I just listen as are laughter mingles together in its own sort of musical

harmony, and as the laughter dies down so does everything else. Suddenly i feel cold and realize I shouldnt be here. "Bonnie..." The word comes out softly and is carried away by the wind, I look around frantically and spot you standing silently in the middle of our own perfect moment, a look of sorrow on your perfect face that makes me want to cry out. I stumble towards your unmoving form and reach my hand towards you but the ground below us begins to shake and rumble violently and im being pulled away from you. I do cry out this time and despereatly try to reach for you but i cant, i cant even see you anymore, all i hear is the faint voice in the wind. And then i know your gone.

I look around slowly and try to make sence of my surroundings. Its dark, it dull and its fells church gravyard. Im confused, why am here?

I look around again and notice that the whole gang is here, but somethings not right. Elenas clutching on to Stefan like he's the only thing

keeping her alive, and poor Stefan looks like hes being pricked by thousands of tiny wooden stakes, his face is contorted in some kind of

agony that hurts just to look at. Merideth is clinging to Sage in a simaller fashion and is only in slighly less worse condition than Elena and

Sage looks like he's barely keeping it together. I frown as i feel a prick on my finger and look down just in time to see a black rose fall

limply to the ground. Just below a gravestone. Reality hits me with the force of a steam engine and i feel one lone tear drop slide down my

cheek as i drop to my knees in front of the grave.

_**Damon Salvatore**_

_**Loyal friend, beloved brother and cherished husband.**_

_**May he rest in peace.**_

More silent tears give way and gush down my cheeks, as i tenderly caress the cool grey stone and whisper your name, agony ripples

through my chest. I refuse to picture you under the ground, pale and unmoving and instead close my eyes and imagine you with your

head tilted to the side and your hair falling over one side of your face, your eyes twinkling with amusement and a wicked smile teasing

your lips. This is how i'll always rember you. My Damon.

Only then do i rember the words that the wind had carried to me in the meadow.

"Never forget Carra." I'll never forget Damon.

Fini

A/N Please review! (:

-Courtney xx


	2. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing. *Sob*

_Teardrops of the dead_

Ch 2

I always needed time on my own.

I never thought id need you there i cried.

And the days feel like years when im alone.

And the bed where you lie, is made up on you're side.

One lone icy tear slid down Bonnies pale cheek as she stared un-seeingly out her bedroom window, gazing mutely at the cotton Q tips that fell relentlessly from the sky in a swirl of snowy down. The cruel irony of her current situation yanked a small, humourless chuckle out of the young witches raw throught and she dragged a hand threw her develished locks, turning sharply away from the window and drawing in a deep, sobbing breath as she slowly slid to the floor. Here she was, a twenty four year old 'Vitch' living at home with her parents while mourning the loss of her undead husband. Her misery reeled her further into the darkness and a choked cry escaped the witches lips as her eye caught a thin pool of black material lying on the polished floor, almost completly abscured by her bed, yet it seemed more deffined to her than anything else in the room. Damons faveourite shirt.

When you walk away i count the steps that you take.

Can you see how much i need you right now?

Eagerly, she crawled towards the bed, gingerly picking the silk up between her palms and staring at it. Not even 7 days previous, Damon had worn this shirt. Slowly, Bonnie brought the material close to her face and inhaled, savouring the dark, spicy aroma that was pure Damon and smiling softly as it infulged her senses. Her hand began to shake and she buried her head into the soft silk, the sobs finally breaking free of her constricted chest, and she might have felt relieved had she not been so numb.

When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you.

When you're gone, the face i came to know is missing too.

When you're gone, the words i need to hear to get me through the day and make it okay

I miss you.

A soft, almost hesitant knock vibrated through the cold silence of the room and Bonnie glanced up in time to see

Elena and Mereideth enter, their faces identical masks of alarm and misery as the cast a look at their so obviously broken friend. Nobody had ever been held as close to Bonnies heart than Damon had, and both girls suspected, never again would be. Elena opened her arms and the small red head let out a cry of anguish, leaping up from her akward position on the floor and hurling herself into the blue eyed beautys arms. Mereideth joined the sloppy embrace as the third point, putting her arms around both girls and holding on tight while she echoed Elena's soft whispers of reassurance to the broken-hearted supernatural, though she didnt actually expect it to stem the steady stream of tears flowing from Bonnie freely. As always, she was correct.

And all i ever wanted wa for you to know, everything i do i give my heart and soul

I can hardly breathe i need to feel you hear with me, yeah.

Awhile later, as the three teens lay sprawled across Bonnie's bed in a tangled embrace of arms and legs, the witch absently stared at the pale shaft of moonlight that shone through her window, and listened to the even breathing of her friends that indicated they where asleep. Damon had always loved the night. Slowly, carefull not to wake Elena and Mereideth, Bonnie crept along the room and sliped out quietly on to her balcony. She knew what she had to do. The crickets where chirping softly and Bonnie smiled as a light breeze blew her strawberry curls around her face. It was hard to belive that once-upon-a- time she had been terrified of the dark, of the night. Damon had taught her to embrace it, to understand it and for that she was glad. The night was one of the most Beautiful things Bonnie had ever saw. Much like Damon himself. Taking in a camning breath of the cool air, she came to terms with what had to be done. There would never be anyone to take Damons place, of that she was certain, but she couldnt live her life like this. She had to let him go. Slowly, she opened her eyes, the brown orbs wide in wonder as she contemplated the sight in front of her. The crickets, that had been chirping softly in the background, where now shreiking in glee and the night air had picked up, blowing leaves every where. Bonnie smiled.

Good-bye Damon.

When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you.

When you're gone, the face i came to know is missing too.

When you're gone, the words i need to hear to get me through the day and make it okay

I miss you.

xxx

A/N: Okay, so this is basically just the chapter that shows Bonnie coming to terms with her loss. Of course she's not over Damon, but she understands that she cant live like she has been. Anyways, i would like to dedicate this chapter to BamonLove321 who's totally awesome! Thank you so much for your encouragement, it really means the world to me! I would also like to thank anyone else who reviewed and read. :)

Enjoy and please review, i would really love to hear you're thoughts.

Peace, love and Bamon

-C xx


	3. Chapter 4

_Chapter 3  Teardrops of the Dead_

_Disclaimer: As much as I hate to admit it, Vampire Diaries belongs to L.J Smith._

"Bonnie? Honey, are you up?"

Bonnie Salvatore sighed, stretching her stiff arms above her head the vitch winced as her aching muscles throbbed in protest and squinted her bleary eyes at the alarm clock on her bedside table. 9:30 AM. _Way too early_, she thought with a soft groan, burrowing closer to the soft cotton of her pillow for a second longer. "Just a minute mom!" she called to the older woman , jumping out of bed with ease and pulling on a pair of black skinnies and a blood red tank top that had previously been occupying her bedroom floor before hurrying towards the door and pulling it open in a rush. Her mother was leaning against the wall, her face paler than usual and pinched with worry, and Bonnie couldn't help but notice that awful distance in her mothers gentle brown eyes that where so similar to her own and the bedraggled state of the her normally tidy copper curls. Was this her fault? Had she done this? It was funny how everything else ceased to exist when you where locked away in your own personal trauma, Bonnie hadn't even noticed her own mom slowly but surely taking an obvious turn for the worst. Pitiful. "Mom? Are you alright?" she asked doubtfully, shifting her weight slightly as she stared at the other woman. Tina McCullough smiled, a terribly false smile that made Bonnie flinch just looking at it. "Oh baby, i'm perfectly fine. I'm more worried about you to be honest." she said, her voice oddly high pitched and glassy, reminding Bonnie of those awful plays her, Elena and Meredith were forced to sit through in high school. The other students would sound similar to her mother as they rattled off their lines, false and not at all good at acting. "I'm fine mom. You don't need to worry anymore. I'm going to be okay." Bonnie smiled that smile, the special one she'd spent so much time practising in the mirror for at least the best part of a day, and pulled her mom into a half hearted hug. She needed to be strong, there was other people counting on her and she couldn't afford to be selfish anymore, couldn't afford to lock herself away from the world. He had taught her to be stronger than that.

"How about we go out and get some breakfast? I'm thinking the grill." Bonnie said, giving her mom one last squeeze before pulling back from the embrace. Her mothers smile seemed to make the whole act completely worth while. "That would be lovely Bonnie. Give me half an hour to get ready and i'm all yours." she said with a mild smile, and Bonnie nodded, watching as her mom scuttled off into the bathroom. Maybe there was some hope left in her yet.

Maybe she could do this.

Xxx

Half an hour later and Bonnie was now fully awake, dressed in a pair of faded grey skinnies, a black low cut tank top, cute dark velvet pumps and her beloved Italian leather jacket. She had even managed to tame her hair into something considerably presentable; scraping the unruly curls into a neat bun and letting a few coppery strands fall down to frame her face. Her mother had also obviously made an effort, smoothing her hair back into a neat ponytail and slipping into her favourite blue jeans. Bonnie really hated that they had to try so hard. Fells Church was quiet, as it always was in the morning, and Bonnie strolled down the streets beside her mother, enjoying the peacefulness while it lasted and relishing the cool morning air against her clammy skin. It was nice to be out again, she hadn't left her room since... well, for a long time. Another sad feat and she was really beginning to despise her idiotic weakness. "This is nice." her mother sighed, swinging her arms a little as she glanced around the empty street. "It is." Bonnie agreed quietly, taking in her mom and noticing how completely different the woman looked from this morning. _Much better_, Bonnie thought in satisfied approval, flashing a small smile as she met her moms gaze. "I've missed you Bon." She said quietly, her eyes holding Bonnies with a startling intensity. "We all have." Bonnie found herself blinking back tears and quickly averted her gaze. "I've been in a pretty dark place lately mom." she admitted softly after a beat of silence. "He was my world." There didn't seem to be any words for that, the older woman knew that her daughter didn't want to hear false reassurances that everything would be alright but after a moment, Bonnie felt her mom grasp her hand tightly in her own and without hesitation she squeezed back, feeling as though it was her lifeline.

And right then, at that moment, maybe it was.

Xxx

The grill wasn't quite as peaceful as the empty streets, but Bonnie was okay with that, she needed to be around people. At least that's what she thought anyway. "We can always go back home." her mother suggested, noticing how Bonnie stiffened at the sight of all the people who turned to stare, sympathy evident in their eyes. Bonnie turned to look at her mother, noting how their hands where still entwined like when she was a child, and smiled softly. "I need this mom." she said, and Tina nodded, her eyes hard and understanding. Bonnie was beginning to wonder about her mom, she really was. They found a seat near the window, and her mother politely waved towards one of the nearby waitresses who eagerly obliged, almost tripping over herself in her haste to get to them. "Mrs McCullough, Mrs Salvatore. I would just like to say how terribly sorry I am for you're tremendous loss." The girl gushed, her pretty blue eyes practically tearing up and Bonnie winced at how totally artificial the girl sounded, barely restraining herself from snapping something venomous at the clueless teen. Under the table, Bonnie felt reassuring pressure on her hand. She inhaled deeply and looked up at the girl with a polite smile. "Thank you." she said coolly, and then gave the bewildered girl her order. Her mother smiled. The peoples gaze became less and less frequent. And Bonnie Salvatore continued to pretend, nobody noticed. After all, she always had been good at the act of acting.

Xxx

"You did so well."

Bonnie looked at her mom as they continued to walk home. She felt wretched and wanted nothing more than to crawl under her duvet and never come out, but she couldn't, there were other things she needed to do. "Thanks. It doesn't make it any easier though." she sighed, tipping her head back to look at the baby blue sky. She wondered if he was watching, if he was proud. "Baby, it will never be easy. But after awhile, it numbs." Bonnie blinked and turned towards her mother, ready to ask her how she knew so much. Tina looked at her daughter, a look that stopped Bonnie in her tracks. She didn't ask. After awhile they made it back to the house. "Aren't you coming?" Tina asked without looking back. She already knew the answer to her question. "Actually, I've got a few things I need to do. Might swell get them over with?" Bonnie said grimly, leaning against the little white picket fence with her hands deep in her jean pockets. What a cliché. Her mom turned around, her large eyes wide and understanding. "Like pulling teeth." she agreed sadly, before giving a funny little smile and closing the front door. Bonnie chuckled softy, her mom was so weird at times. Sighing, she turned and began to walk in the opposite direction of her house. To be honest she didn't want to think about what she was going to do, she knew if she did that she would end up talking herself out of it and that wasn't a good idea. She needed this. Well at least that was what she was trying to convince herself as she climbed the last few steps to her destination and let her knuckled rap softly against the large oak door. She needed this. She needed this. She needed th-

The door opened and Bonnie tried for a smile as she gazed at the bewildered blonde before her.

"Hello Elena."

Xxx

Thanks to:

Pretty Little Vampires

Lula6791:

Nightgirl25:

vAMPIRELUvSS:

Dai-light:

LastChaos

Lisaniv

Phoenix Of The Night

BonnieandDamon4evr

edwardismyne

A/N: I am sooo sorry for the lack of updates lately, but my Laptop went all weird and I had all these crucial exams to revise for so there was no way of posting this next chapter. Sorry guys! I really hope this chapter was worth it, I mean I know it was a little boring and there wasnt alot of Bamon action at all really, but I did try my best. Sorry if it sucks. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and please review- you get a shout out if you do! ;) oh and please vote on my poll aswell.

Peace, love and Bamon

-C xx


	4. Chapter 5

_Chapter 4__Teardrops Of The Dead_

_Disclaimer: As much as I hate to admit it, Vampire Diaries belongs to L.J Smith. _

xxx

Everything was as dark and dreary as expected, yet Bonnie still found herself surprised.

Her weary eyes trailed along the dence length of the ankle high misty fog, linguried slightly on the equally meancing and sleek form of a plump crow as it glared at her with accusing, black beady eyes, as though she had disturbed it in some way, and then finally made their way to the smooth grey stone in front of her still form.

Man, she really hated graveyards.

Shivering slightly, the young supernatural kneeled down in front of the large slab and gently placed one pale hand against its chilly surface.

"Hello Damon." she whispered softly, stoking her finger tips across the ingraved letters of his name and swallowing back the large lump that had suddenly formed at the back of her throat. After Elena had lost her parents, Bonnie could never understand why her friend had proceeded to torture herself by coming here all the time. It had seemed to Bonnie that coming to their place of resting would only cause more tourmoil and heartache than anything else ,but she had eventually come to the conclussion that it was Elena's way of coping and after awhile it became a regular occurance for the girls to meet up at the graveyard and laugh, cry, talk: anything.

Now she understood.

Shaking curls out of her eyes, Bonnie let her legs fold under her and landed on the moist floor with a soft thump that she barely even felt. "Its so weird D." she began, absently tearing a few threads of grass out of the ground. "It used to be so natural talking to Elena and Mere, I told them everything without hesitation, but now? I feel as though I'm reciting lines of a play when I speak to not only them, but everyone." Sighing in frustration, she continued to roll the blades of brownish grass in her hands and stared hard at the ground. "I'm drowning Damon and not one person understands!" she cried passionately, feeling a sudden fierce burn of anger course through her. "I could see the way they where looking at me, they dont see me as an equal anymore, they see me as someone to be pitied and I hate it!"

The anger was mounting, making her feel hotter and hotter. Nobody cared, nobody understood, so why should she? The clouds in the sky began to shift, turning darker and heavier. A hearty rumble rebrated overhead and Bonnie closed her eyes, gritting her teeth as a flash of light danced across her eyelids.

"And then _she_ was there, laughing and joking with everyone as though nothing had happened, as though it wasnt her fault you're gone! She even had the nerve to try and talk to me!"

Large drops of water splashed down from the sky, cold and chilling, completly contradicted by the constant burning in her palms. The inraged Vitch let out a cry of indignant anger, opening her glowing red eyes and staring down at the bright blue flames cradled in her palms, it swirled wildly in the increasingly strong wind but otherwise was'nt effected by the fat drops of rain that doused it in moisture. Bonnie's smile was empty and sinister.

" 'Give her a chance Bonnie.'", She mimicked Elena unkindly, " 'It wasnt her fault'"

The redhead scoffed bitterly and she knew the wetness on her face wasnt completly due to the storm brewing overhead. "Elena's wrong.", she said after a pause, "Maybe the mutiny wasnt her idea, but she sure as hell helped plan the damned thing." The flame flared suddenly bright, its tips forking and growing, making Bonnie think absently of how a snakes tounge looked when the reptile opened its jaws to strike, and her body grew hotter than before, verging almost on painful, but it was a blissful kind of pain that she could gladly get lost in. "Why you?" she shouted over the now raging storm, gazing up at the grey sky resentfully, as though she could tug Damon from the clouds by sheer will power, and savouring the cool raindrops that spashed and sizzled against her burning skin. She could feel something tugging at her mind, urging her to remember... to remember something... _important. _Yes, there was something very important that she just_ had_ to remember... but her head ached fiercely and Bonnie wanted to do nothing more than wallow in her misery.

Did she really have to remember?

_Yes!_

The urgent shout echoed through Bonnies head, bouncing painfully through every inch of her being, making her shriek in startled agony and clutch her throbbing head in her hands while she curled in on herself and massaged her aching temples.

The young witch whimpered as her vision faded from red to black, then grey and her stomach churned uncomfortably,threatening to make her regurgitate her lunch if the sharp pain didnt vanish, and pronto. Slowly, gradually, the jagged pain lessened to the point where Bonnie didnt think she was liable to pass out from it and she let her hands drop limply to her sides as she wobbled unsteadily to her feet. While the magical euphoria slowly subsided, she became aware of the reality of her situation. Her clothes clung to her petite form, drenched by the magic induced thunder storm (that had convinently dissapered since she regained her sences.) and her framed quievered from the harsh bite of cold air. More importantly- and possibly fately- was the fact that she had used such a strong spout of her power _in broad daylight!_ Casting a nervous glance around the now extremely damp graveyard, Bonnie swallowed and backed up against Damons headstone, striking a defensive pose as she felt another life force somewhere in the area.

"Who's there?" she growled viciously, reaching back to lay her palm against the cool surface in an act of reassurance. Damon had made her, molded her into something strong, unbeatable.

She trusted him.

"I know you're there," she purred, sounding more like a preditor than ever, "And I'm really not in the mood for games." She could feel her canines growing, lengthening, and a pleasent rush of adrenaline rushed through her as footsteps rustled and tredded closer. "I mean you no harm Bonnie- contrary to what you may think."

Bonnie bristled at the sound of that all to farmilliar voice and she spun around to face the intruder with a harsh snarl of fury. Guileless baby blue orbs stared at her through a mop of tousled golden curls, and Bonnie felt something like inhuman rage bubble under her skin as the bane of her existance gazed at her through the face of an angel.

"Bree."

A small smile tugged at the other girls pink lips as she offered Bonnie a half hearted wave.

"Hello Bonnie."

**Thanks to;**

**Midnightquiver**

**and**

**Celine b**

**A/N; Hello there. :D**

**Yep, I am very aware that it's been quite awhile since I last updated but... Well, I gave up on this story for awhile if I'm being honest. Lack of inspirition you could say... but thanks to my two reviewers (See above) I decided to update. :D Thanks guys! You're the best! **

**So, tell me what you thought of this chapter?**

**Please?**

**:)**

**Review!**

**-KissingxxFangs**


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